We all stress out every day at some point. No? Well, then you must be a person who can control their emotions and stays focused on the “now”. Who doesn’t let anything or anyone ruin their day!
But If sometimes some little things i.e people’s behaviour, weather etc can immediately and easily switch you from; ” I am happy, such a good day” to ” I hate this…I feel angry” – you and I have the same issue which we need to work on.
The thing is that I get nervous very easily, which I never used to feel before I completely changed my life. Relocated, changed job, ambitions etc. The thing is I care too much about things I probably shouldn’t think about 24/7 as I do now. It’s hard to make me feel angry but for example; if I plan to go to the outskirts on the weekend and it didn’t happen – my day is over and I’ll be upset. If I think that my hedgehog might be cold and there is no one at home to check the heating system – I won’t calm down until I know – all is good.
So for me recently it became a huge thing – to control what is going on HERE and NOW. Regardless of our problem, we can all ask ourselves 3 simple questions:
- What can I do now to change the situation?
- Is stressing out and feeling negative helping me now?
- What is the worst outcome? (Don’t exaggerate too much, be realistic).
Let’s imagine this scenario.
You want to go to vacation specifically in 2 weeks but your visa has been delayed. You start to get nervous because you planned everything in advance. Now it’s the time to be proactive and ask yourself how you can resolve this situation? Always consider your options…
- You can talk to the embassy and maybe there is a chance to pay a bit more to get your visa faster or you can re-schedule your vacation.
- Nope, nothing will change, you will just be upset and stressed out.
- You will lose some money on changing dates of booking hotels or flights, but you will still go where you planned, just a bit later.
After you ask yourself these simple questions and consider all your options, you realize that it isn’t worth stressing out.
One more thing you can do to avoid stress and anxiety is to work on and build ‘coping mechanisms’. Here are some of the coping mechanisms that I use to boost my positivity and proactive thinking;
- Mindfulness – focus on NOW. All the details which surround you. Smell, noise, how your body feels, what you see etc. Really immerse yourself in this and after a few minutes, you will find your mood uplifted.
- Achievable goals – I know we are all quite ambitious people and want to achieve big things, but sometimes just let yourself achieve small goals and be happy about that. Focus on the last 3-5 small personal successions. This could be 10 minutes of exercise (Really good for releasing neural endorphins). Making a youtube video, writing etc.
- Meditation – any kind of meditation will work (mindfulness also might be the one). Focus on breathing or one thing you are doing in that exact moment you feel stressful, cleaning the space around you, singing, etc.
- Socializing – as much as it’s important to spend time with yourself, also focus on surrounding yourself with a positive social group this helps as positivity shared is positivity gained.
- Written self-evaluation – write down all your worries and then all your achievements. Write everything you have in mind on a paper. Writing our emotions down allows us to see clearly all the things we are worried about instead of exacerbating existing worries and negative procrastination consider it like not having a wallet you would have loose change in random pockets of clothes and credit cards everywhere. This thought paper like a wallet helps us to organize our feelings into 2 columns of negative and positive after you write this all out consider how you can improve on your worries then either keep the paper or throw it away.
- Do creative things – well, creativity will always help you to get all emotions out of yourself, just let it out. You can put it on paper as painting, sing a song, go dancing, do yoga, some other sports or even sew something!
Instead of pushing yourself down, as we usually do, find more positive details around you. Listen to yourself and trust your self more.