… coming back to the topic – Becoming a best friend to yourself.
When we are taking about friends and best friends, everyone will mention Bob, Patricia, Phill…etc., but who we never think of the closest ones? Ourselves. But we should. I believe that If you treat yourself as a best friend and help yourself in the same passionate way as you’d do for other best friend, you can make yourself happier. Look what we usually do. Let’s say Bob (your best friend) called you and said he’s got a massive problem and can’t figure it our himself. He needs you and what do you do? Exactly, as a good person and great friend you’ll find the time, run, drive, fly to your friend, help him out, will be there to listen. Sometimes you won’t even care If you are tired, or busy, you will be there for your friend. Most of the time we ignore ourselves though. When we are bent out of shape, depressed, upset, it feels like we can not help ourselves, or we don’t want to because ” It will be okay / I’ll be fin / It’s temporary / I’m just too tired / I just need to go to the gym / have something to drink / have more sleep and AT SOME POINT I’ll be okay ”
Let’s dig a bit deeper. It is a very goos practice to think of what could be the reason of your current state of mind. For example, here is something I found out about my the most common thoughts of myself:
- I am not good enough, I am waiting for negative feedback from people, like I have to fail every time
- I am too judgemental towards myself
- I am comparing myself with everyone around and they are all better in something
- I am waiting for someone to tell me I am good enough
The list is quite longer though but I don’t want you to focus on my thoughts 😉
You see…when you know these things you realize that your shitty mood might have been triggered by some subconscious thought which you did not focused on, but it’s still there. And then you are “barking” at everyone, feel horrible the whole day and everyone around you is guilty but in fact, it’s right in front of you. Take a moment and analyze your day since the moment you woke up. Did someone say something you didn’t like but did not pay attention to the emotions you had? Did you check social media and everything online seems to be too happy and perfect while you are struggling and it made you feel upset although you haven’t thought of it?
When you see these tracks and have a clear picture of your thoughts and feelings – BOOM! You know how to fix it. Which leads to helping yourself. Be there for yourself.
Next step is treating yourself. By that I mean – any treat:
- For your body – massage, spa, workout, yoga, dance.
- For your self-development – read a book, attend a master class, learn something new, go to a conference.
- For your health – detox, short fasting, facial/hair mask, cryotherapy.
And some other things, like socializing or meeting new people, travelling, theatre, meditation, shopping…whatever you enjoy, find exciting, interesting, whatever fills you up with inspiration, energy and great mood.
No excuses like “later / too busy / have no money”. Do at least some small thing which will cheer you up. Find a way how to get yourself out of that “meh” mood.
And even If your mood is fine but you don’t take care of yourself, something doesn’t feel just right, you are not happy enough – for me, it means you can be a much better friend to yourself. Become a listener and observer. Give yourself a mental hug and find a way how to help yourself.
If you can’t do it yourself just yet, share that with your other friend or family. The one person who will understand you like no one else and will give you helpful advice. There are times when we don’t see obvious which if right here, in front of our faces but we can’t see it. That’s where another person will point on that solution saying “Hey! It’s right here!!”.
I might come back to that topic a bit later as well. So far I see how much I changed for the past several months (and wow I changed so much within the last year!) so I believe more and more in this balance within me and like this crazily cool Ana more day by day 😊
Happy friendship with yourself!